Meanings of Mexican same-sex parents around parenting Significados de madres y padres mexicanos del mismo género en torno a la crianza

Abstract

This study shows the meanings expressed by three Mexican same-sex couples (four women and two men) about the upbringing of their daughters and sons, who were aged between one and three years. From a hermeneutic-interpretative approach, we analyzed narrative interviews, resulting in the following categories: Importance of verbalizing and expressing; Rules, limits and consequences; Teaching and learning values and social skills; Maintain a warm relationship; Personal traits/attributes valued (in children). We found that fathers and mothers played different roles in their work as educators, which were linked dynamically with what they expect and value in terms of learning and development. It was important for them to please, to indulge and to satisfy their children’s needs, without this neglecting a healthy diet, establishing and maintaining rules and routines, as well as teaching values and skills according to their age. A shared meaning revolved around language and communication: for adults it was important explaining routines, verbalizing feelings, or making explicit their type of family (having two fathers or two mothers); always considering what can be understood at that age. It was also important for our participants that their sons and daughters felt happy and loved through a close, warm, playful and affectionate relationship. We conclude that these gay parents and lesbian mothers meant the upbringing as a loving, arduous and permanent task, committed to forming subjects with rights, with whom they could negotiate and reach agreements.